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Katrina is a realistic and passionate optimist focused on actively challenging the way others think about themselves, others, and their world.  She has a Master's degree in Speech Language Pathology, is a certified Adult & Kid's Yoga Instructor,  and founder of Bagus Kids, a child focused company inspired to create fun, mindful products for children.  Katrina is an avid world traveler and do-gooder working for causes in children's education and the environment. You can follow her humorous, personal reflection on Life, Dating, Feminism & Political Social Change here at  Breathe, Smile, Listen 

One of These Isn't Like the Other

One of These Isn't Like the Other

“Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.” -Niccolo Machiavelli
 
Somehow during that relationship I had been inducted back into a Doctor’s wives club.  
 
I got invited to a dinner in LA. I didn’t know the girls well but I was ready to leave the house and get dressed up.
 
I arrived at a very expensive trendy restaurant.
 
Shit. I did not think this through. I’m broke.
 
I say hi to everyone and sit down. The waiter comes around and hands us the menu.
 
“So what’s new? How’s the boyfriend?” one girl asks.
 
“Oh…Well we actually just broke up,” I say.
 
“What? Oh no!” she says.
 
Another girl chimes in, “How is that possible? You’re so pretty?”
 
“Thanks but I guess that was part of the problem,” I say.
 
“I’m so sorry,” she says. 
 
Oh no. They all look so sad. I think they are sadder than me. Why are they so sad? Is something bad going to happen to me now?
 
“What happened?” another one asks.
 
“Oh it just didn’t work out. I guess he didn’t like that I’m pretty or something. I don’t know. He broke up with me,” I say.
 
“He’s an idiot,” one girl says supportively.
 
That’s nice.
 
“Thanks,” I reply.
 
The waiter comes over and shares the specials.
 
Oh thank god, we can change the subject.
 
I look at the menu.
 
Shit. I can’t afford anything on it. Okay, think about this. Just order the small salad and say you’re on a diet. They’ll get that.  Probably a good call after all that shit you ate. Now find a cheap glass of wine. Gotta slowly wean yourself off that stuff anyway. 
 

One girl takes the lead and asks the waiter,  “ What’s the best bottle of pinot noir you have?” 
 
Oh fuck.
 
The waiter offers his opinion.

“We’ll take that. Glasses for everyone,” she says. 
 
“Oh that’s okay. I prefer a cab,” I speak up. 
 
“No way. We are all sharing. This will be better,“ she insists.
 
This was a bad idea Katrina. I don’t even know these girls very well. It’s okay. It will be fine. Just stick with your salad. At least you got dressed nice and have makeup on. This is progress.
 
I order my salad. They don’t question that.
 
“So what’s new with you girls?” I ask. 
 
“Oh Obama with this healthcare and taxes. I mean, it’s going to cut our husband’s salary, and we will be paying more taxes. It’s ridiculous,” one girl says. 
 
Um I’m the only one personally paying taxes here and somehow I think these girls are going to be okay.
 
“Yeah, I can see that can be frustrating. It’s not perfect by any means but something needs to be done about healthcare,” I say.
 
“Uggghhh. It’s just awful. These people don’t even try. They just abuse welfare for their bad choices. Why are we paying for that?” she continues.
 
“Well…It’s more complicated than that, “ I try to sound nice.
 
 Everyone has a disappointed look of,  “Oh you aren’t one of us”.
 
Why did they assume I was? 

I wasn’t expecting this for a dinner conversation. 
 
I look around.
 
Ahhhhh….. I look like them. I dress like them. I talk like them. I went to the same schools as them. I guess I can’t fault them for assuming. 

But I haven’t had the same experiences as them….
 
For one, I have experienced it closely with people I love. 
 
I don’t talk about it much because it’s not my story to tell. It’s their story and it’s the kids’ story. But I will tell you that the cycle of poverty is not simple. If you want to talk in circles with me for hours and still leave bummed then let’s talk. Yes, these conversations need to be had but there never seems like an appropriate time socially to bring it up.
 
I don’t mention that but it became evident by the end of dinner I wasn’t one of them.
 
The bill came.
 
“Let’s all just split it,”  one girl says.
 
Of course.
 
I get in the car and call my best girlfriend who, coincidently is also married to a Doctor. 

“I’m sorry Kat. That sounds awful,” she says. 
 
“Yeah, that wasn’t worth the makeup,” I reply.

Time to go home.


 Make better choices Katrina. 

As they say, we may all be looking up at the same stars but we aren't all seeing the same thing.

 

With Love XX

Kat

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